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By William Briggs Whitaker
Can a Hoosier be a sailor I often wondered as a boy Can a small town kid with a wandering soul really know the ocean’s joy Or is it eight to five and a two-hour drive back to my neighbor’s fence It took thirty-five years of struggling, thank God I had good sense Crown Point is really a cute little town up near Lake Michigan’s shore It served me well through high school but still I wanted more Don’t get me wrong though I’m long gone I still love her from my heart But like an Indy driver I was eager for the race to start
But what to do ... I didn’t know ... all I had were dreams of sailboats and bikinis and songs with Hawaiian themes Lake Michigan’s beach was within close reach; that’s all I really knew But I suppressed my wandering weed, there was work to do So before I began to live my dreams and take control of my given days, I hustled off to the college life and into the establishment’s ways To old I. U. and Wharton too, my education was complete But I wouldn’t really learn a thing until I hit the street
Ford was my first employer in their River Rouge steel mill But when I saw them pollute the river well, I couldn’t fill the bill Now let me think, yes it was Flint Ink where next I spent my days Served three and a half years filling-out forms inside an office maze But Michigan just wasn’t it, not what I was looking for It hit me one day in a traffic jam as I listened to a diesel’s roar Trucks and cars and country club bars in a suit with a fancy vest Horace Greeley started calling me; I resigned and headed West
We moved to California, and "who is we," you say Oh a lovely wife named Judy who I lost along the way It’s really true what I say to you it was 100% my fault And a picture of her smiling face stays locked in my memory vault I worked in San Francisco beneath her sparkling hills though it was across the bay in Oakland where we lived and paid our bills But I knew at night that it wasn’t right, the way life rolled-on by So I’d fix another highball and stare into the sky
And then my life began to churn as the future closed-in on me I found my only refuge in the freedom of the sea His name was Jack as I think back, the man who changed my life He turned me onto sailing just before I left my wife With two little girls it can break your heart to have to walk away It chokes you up and tears your eyes and there’s nothing you can say Inside you know that for love to grow you need more than just a seed and the love in our distraught family fell victim to the wandering weed
A wandering weed that tugged at me and drew me to the sea As it strangled and encompassed, it refused to set me free My workday chores became real bores, as I’d slip down to the boat, back when Agnew was vice president and Nixon still could gloat A wandering weed that had grown in me from the days of a little boy It had made my life a nightmare, instead of one of joy It clutched at me to set me free as I moved from job to job And before I knew it I hit the street, landing with a sob
And I continued to churn away inside to learn what had gone wrong What happened to America, why are we killing Vietcong Oh I knew there was more to the nasty war than ever we’d be told It was just that I was restless, I’d turned thirty ... getting old The wandering weed within my soul started reaching ‘round my mind I had to make peace with my wandering thoughts, our future was entwined With money low, a divorce you know, I needed to think of work but the wandering weed that gripped my mind wanted me to go berserk
As time rolled-on I sailed more and more, selling real estate by day Oh, the memory of our parties out on San Francisco Bay My partner Jim ... you don’t know him; he was a wild and crazy man yet when it came to business he was the leader of the band But when it came to sailing, I’m afraid I led the group of Oakland’s famous pirates, a merry little troop There was Sandwich Sue, Double Boober too; Bob & Chris were in the clan And Shorts and Jack and wild man Conn, topped-off by Chesty Chan
Ah the stories would amaze you of the funny things we did But as I look back on those distant days I think I’ll keep em’ hid A bit wild to put it mild but I might go back some day and sail again with my pirate friends out on San Francisco Bay One foggy morn I turned thirty-five; it was time to look within to study all the errors and where my life had been The vagabond seed - my wandering weed - started to smother me It pulled and tripped and strangled as it drew me to the sea
I just couldn’t handle land anymore, too much hypocrisy Yet I was selling real estate; I’m not too smart you see When Nixon lied my confidence died; he’d sunk our ship of state But life was inching forward to link me with my fate Bill Scranton had been governor the warm and balmy day I’d graduated from the Wharton School with my hard fought MBA He gave the charge to a class quite large to go out and seek our star And now that I’d turned thirty-five, well, I’d not traveled very far
As a sailor selling real estate, I hadn’t done too well Six months after startin’ the market had gone to hell But my partner Jim, you remember him, well, he sold a castle proud And that left just enough money to keep-up with the crowd Then one day I made a deal, a deal with the wandering weed I’d surrender to him while yet thirty-five; I had l0 months to succeed Then I’d follow him, be it sink or swim, out into the sea That was my deal with the wandering weed and that his deal with me
The wandering weed within my soul withdrew into his shell In his little seed pod cavity he tucked away quite well The change in me was plain to see; I was free of the clinging vine There was a battle to be fought and a victory to be mine So I went to work and hatched a plan, a crazy one I guess but when it came to selling real estate we weren’t like all the rest Had we joined the board, oh no, my Lord, such would never please Too many of its members had the money love disease
The money love disease is sad; it’s worse than a leper’s fate And those who wallow in its slime tarnish the image of real estate They lie and cheat at a steady beat all in the name of greed Such was not for my partner Jim nor I and the wandering weed There was a lot of anger churning as I planned-out what to do A gift for overtaxed homeowners, something to see them through Down at city hall they had a ball spending our hard-earned money But down the street at Brigantine Sales we didn’t think it funny
It’s wrong, I said to Jim one day, the way they run the show They sit in their fancy offices and siphon-off the dough Then they create a plan to save the land and raise the rate some more Here’s where I’ll fight my battle and here’s where I’ll wage my war Jim and I were close you see like a surfboard and its wax and even Jim thought it a little nuts to battle the property tax But if I were right and could win the fight there’d be ample reward for me for then I’d shake hands with the wandering weed and sail across the sea
But first I had to lead a fight against the tax-eating men and the deal I’d made with the wandering weed made me plunge right in I took a vow ... it seems silly now as years of anger took vent It would be over my dead body that Oakland’s tax rate go up one cent But what to do ... I didn’t know ... all I had were dreams of sailboats and bikinis and songs with Hawaiian themes Down at city hall, a structure tall with eagles looking down That’s where to lead my battle, I decided with a frown
A frown caused by frustration at the body politic Vietnam and Watergate were enough to make me sick But I’d sneak right in and battle them behind the establishment’s door Little did I know that I’d soon be dead, a scream in the ocean’s roar So I jumped right in and wrote a speech, a speech for city hall I got placed on the agenda, in eight days, if I recall But I’d not live to ever give the speech I wrote that night for the very next day I’d know death itself and see the ocean’s light
The wandering weed still had his day but only one day per week On Thursdays we went sailing where in private we could speak Just my friends and I under a sunny sky as we’d sail across the bay and the wandering weed within my heart could bask for another day And such was the day that we set sail out into the bay Two friends and I and the wandering weed who had nothin’ much to say There was something wrong as we sailed along; I could feel it in the air That’s when I turned to speak to the weed and saw a worrisome stare
Our boat sailed along, I didn’t know about our coming fate We came about and raised more sail as we slipped beneath the gate With an ocean blue and sunshine too we sailed into the sea Two friends, a weed and I on a voyage through destiny Now unless you know the ocean it’s hard to pin the spot I knew the local waters though I’d not sailed there a lot The noonday light with its rays so bright shone through an azure sky We hugged the Marin County coastline and time just glided by
Then all of a sudden the sea rose up and plunged into a breaker The instant that I saw it I knew I’d met my maker With a banshee’s howl and a tiger’s growl it roared across our wake The monstrous wave was fifty feet high I might add, for purity’s sake Well the second breaker got us when it lifted up our stern I’ve got you now, declared the mighty sea and there’s a lesson to be learned Who’s the crew you’ve brought with you she asked the wandering weed I see you brought three candidates - which one gets the seed
By now our boat stood on its bow as we raced down the monstrous wave The wandering weed leaped free as we plunged toward a cold wet grave Take your choice cried the weed’s small voice, from the three you get to choose But I already knew by the way he jumped that we were all about to lose And then the wave encompassed me as I grabbed a futile breath I got snarled-up in the rigging; I’d soon breath a liquid death But the mighty wave my life did save when it pulled me to its womb and there on his locker sat Davy Jones across the watery room
Well look at you he smiled at me; I wondered when you’d come I’ve been tugging at you for several years but you’re always on the run That wandering weed is my friend indeed; he brought you safe to me And now if you want to bargain, I’ll speak for the sea Yes look at you, he said again as he spied my quivering hand What makes you think you’re fit for the sea; what have you done on land Do you still pollute and wear a suit while the ocean goes on dying The mighty whales are almost gone; can’t you hear their crying
Those of you who live on land would destroy the mighty sea with your oil spills and pollution, what’s wrong with humanity Well I’ll tell you a thing or two from the maker of us all, You’re gonna lose this lovely planet if you don’t get on the ball Look at the way they kill our whales, the Russians and Japanese Even it takes a boycott they must be brought down to their knees The human race is quite a disgrace and they’re headed for Judgment Day But it looks like yours is here right now - so what have you got to say
I love the sea, was my opener and I quit once over pollution What is it that you want from me, what price is absolution My mind was red; I near dropped dead, a father’s words to his son If you’re gonna rock the boat lad, do so gently ... you son of a gun So I held my breath and waited for Jones to make another remark, as we raced along with the monstrous wave inside his magic ark Then I soon learned as he abruptly turned that he had a deal in mind I hear you’re in a tax fight not to mention your present bind
If I help you out of your present fix and place you back on the sea, would you remember this fateful day and someday give aid to me I’ll relieve your strife and spare your life; I’ll release you from my jail and what I want in return from you is to share my love of the whales What you must do is spread the word so all the world will know, that it’s a sin to pollute the ocean and disrupt its natural flow The eternal sea gave birth to thee; we all come from one source Once you’ve destroyed the ocean’s whales you’ve altered nature’s course
With that he stood and walked over to me; then he hoisted a bottle of rum Next he produced a pearl handled knife and sliced each of our thumbs With a proper toast my famous host mixed his blood with mine and then we drank and dripped that blood till the decks ran with our wine The next thing I knew I was back in the sea, though I should say that carefully for the man who swam the towering waves was a brand new man to me Jones kept the weed but I had a new seed, a blossoming love for the whales And there but fifty yards away was our boat down to the rails
While I’d been busy with Davy Jones my friends rode in the sea The boat had done a pitch pole but now was floating free I let out a roar ... back to shore; I’ve got work to do And Davy laughed beneath the deep; oh I swear that this is true While Davy worked some magic I paddled like an eager pup He leveled out that raging sea but don’t repeat it - they’ll lock you up Then with a roar he amazed me more when he beckoned a coast guard boat, searching the ocean for some other men whose bodies would nae again float
I was given the life of another man, a man who died at sea And two days after rescuing us the coast guard found his debris A fishing boat, no longer afloat had sunk with the poor man’s bones and now he rests in the briny deep a dealin’ with Davy Jones Of course the tax fight meant even more to a man with a driving passion and those who were my closest friends thought I’d gone nuts after a fashion But I’d returned, some lessons learned, from a voyage through destiny and now I’d been given a second chance, a chance for victory
A new man strolled into city hall that night to give a speech and he had the blood of Davy Jones who was listening within reach But not for the whales did he stand at the rail with notes in either hand This was the night to battle the tax and finish the work on land Well I spoke that night and raised holy hell as Davy laughed in my ear Some of the councilmen squirmed in their seats; some had a look of fear Then the mayor frowned banging his gavel down as the gallery began to roar I was speaking fightin’ words and they were ready to join my war
The war was short as history goes; the councilmen changed their minds They’d planned to boost the rate four cents but a victory was finally mine Well I rested a while, then with a smile I entered our office one day I grabbed some mementos, said good bye to Jim and then I sailed away But where to go ... I didn’t know ... all I had were dreams of sailboats and bikinis and songs with Hawaiian themes You guessed the rest, I sailed Southwest and now all I do is sail and write a little poetry all for a love of the whales
Rock the boat gently,
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