Northwest Indiana Discussion

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a Chicago park when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it and breaks the dog's neck, saving his friend.

A reporter is standing by, sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Cub Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal" he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Cub Fan", the little boy replies.
"Sorry but since we're in Chicago , I just assumed you were", says the reporter and starts writing again.

"Sox Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Sox Fan either, " the little boy replies.

"Sorry but since we're in Chicago , ' I just assumed you were," says the reporter and starts writing again.

"Bears Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.
"I'm not a Bears Fan either," says the boy. "Oh... I assumed everyone in Chicago was either for the Cubs, Sox or Bears.

What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Packers fan," the boy replies.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes...
"Little Bastard from Wisconsin Kills Beloved Family Pet"

Actually, since the story is set in Chicago...the way this really played out was like this.

It wasn't hockey it was midnite bassetbawll

When this thug saw Rottweiler attacking he pulled his 9 and not only popped a cap in the dogs head he put 3 more in the rival gangbanger on the other end of the leash and was last seen by the reporter running down the street trying to hold his pants up...

Lost In Translation

I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke.

Today's word is................. Fluctuations

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller,
"Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

I saw a fundamentalist Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River this morning; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was an illegal Hispanic drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security. It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded..........I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.

Excellent Story about the President and the Queen of England



As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport , President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London , where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace , waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire .
The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.
The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama, " Mr. President, please accept my regrets... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," replied: "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.

DAVID LETTERMAN MAY BE IN TROUBLE WITH NASCAR!!!!


Now, THIS is funny.

David Letterman may not get any flak from NASCAR, but I'll bet he does get some 'flak' from the NAACP, and others such as Al Sharpton and the Rev. Jackson will absolutely go nuts !!!

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers:

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.

# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.

# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.

# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.

# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.

# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.

# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.

# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...



# 1 - They Can't wear their helmets sideways.

ONCE A MARINE ALWAYS A MARINE!








On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine , and asked, Honey, do you remember this negligee?

He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married"

She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?

He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said: Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."

She giggled and said, "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight ?"

He looked her up and down and said, "Mission Accomplished."





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WHY I'M SO DEPRESSED

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.... .
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LOL !!!