my god that was hilarious………….
| Northwest Indiana Discussion http://northwestindiana.com/discussionforum/ |
|
| A LITTLE FUN http://northwestindiana.com/discussionforum/viewtopic.php?f=60&t=2203 |
Page 1 of 43 |
| Author: | Mary Lou [ Wed Oct 03, 2007 5:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A LITTLE FUN |
it's a little boring right now so lets have some fun. lets post are favorite jokes, i'll go first.......... A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." |
|
| Author: | Joey [ Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing on a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?" The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?" |
|
| Author: | BigWhiteGuy [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
A drunk man who smelled like whiskey sat down on a bench in a subway station, next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of Jim Beam was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath." The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does." |
|
| Author: | Mary Lou [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?" "Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose. "Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand. Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border. Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?" "Sand," says Jose. A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border. For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?" Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..." |
|
| Author: | BigWhiteGuy [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows, When the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says "What in the world was that?" The old man replied "It's fart football." A few minutes later the old woman lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score." About 5 minutes later the old man lets another one go and says "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7." Not to be outdone the woman rips out another one and says "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to be beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, And accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says "What the hell was that?" The old man says "Half time, switch sides." |
|
| Author: | Mary Lou [ Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
my god that was hilarious………….
|
|
| Author: | BigWhiteGuy [ Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
|
|
| Author: | expresso66 [ Sat Oct 06, 2007 8:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
 
|
|
| Author: | BigWhiteGuy [ Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow." |
|
| Author: | expresso66 [ Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
A REAL FUNNY clown, you are BDWG............ 
|
|
| Author: | BigWhiteGuy [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 6:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So He called one of His angels to go to earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down another angel to get a second opinion". MaryLou rocks. . . . . . . So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good." God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what the e-mail said? No? Okay, just checking with you. I didn't get one either. |
|
| Author: | Region Rat [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | New Manhood |
New Manhood A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, and $14,000 for large. The man was sure he wanted a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen." |
|
| Author: | BigWhiteGuy [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
For a lot of fun, just click the link.....expresso66, I got 32, can you do better? http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/play/781 |
|
| Author: | Mary Lou [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 6:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
BigWhiteGuy wrote: For a lot of fun, just click the link.....expresso66, I got 32, can you do better?
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/play/781 i got 30 on my first try and 38 on my second try..........that was fun........ |
|
| Author: | expresso66 [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 6:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Mary Lou Ho And BWG(aka Lard Azz) were picking peanuts in Georgia. However, Jimmy Carter, our ex-Prez, a peanut farmer himself, ask them what they were doing on PRIVATE land, picking peanuts. Mary Lou Ho answered and said, " Mr. Prez, you no have to get mad at me, you hear. I's need peanuts 'cause I's having a peanut butter baby, and mine baby need's them there peanuts." Her half-man, BWG said too, "Look Prez, I don't like to work, I's better than them workers over thar. Me and my Ho here, needs them peanuts to exist. Plus, I's named, Big White Guy, and I gots to live up to this name of mine." Ole Jimmy just looked at this bare footed couple, and said,"Nope, try not to live up to that name; 'cause your trash, and your Ho there used to have a brother for a man..............no, just stay the trash that you are........I know you both don't know what it is, but I'll give you guys some peanut butter. It's for eating, and for traps, like yours! LOL! LOL! LOL! |
|
| Page 1 of 43 | All times are UTC - 6 hours |
| Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|